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Altogether since moving here I’ve recieved 3 emails in Japanese.  Fortunately the first was from my bank and had a translation at the bottom the other two however are quite the mystery.  

Because it is such a joyous experience to receive emails which are quite long and potentially very important in a language you don’t speak, I’ve decided to re-create the experience for you below and take you through the thrills and spills of using a translator service online.  I can feel your palpitating excitement from here…..ready?

Here is a few paragraphs and the subject heading for the most recent email I have received… (those of you who are eager beavers out there – contain yourselves and be patient, I have of course included the translation after).  

Subject: 【最大千円割引】先行 予約 割引 終了 まで【あと3日】!!!  (You can see why i was concerned it may be important, who uses three !!! unless it’s important right?)

Paragraph: 

アスパラ先行予約割引は
4月16日9時59分までです!

いよいよ北海道のアスパラの収穫が始まりました^^
スズキは皆様にお味をお伝えするべく、
一足先に食べさせていただきました。

『うまいっ!!』
ちょっと感動するくらいのお味でした^^

生のアスパラはシャキシャキした歯ごたえと
ジューシーな甘さと
春を感じる強い香りが口の中に広がります。

男子ごはんの見よう見まねで
アスパラソテー目玉焼き乗せバーニャカウダソース
を作ってみました^^

▲使用したアスパラはコチラ

Note that this email goes on for a few pages beyond the paragraph I’ve pasted above.  Now here’s the fun part.  With all this spectacular technology out there these days we can of course simply pop this into a translator online and from there everything will make sense.  Personally I find this process more amusing than clarifying and more frustrating than gratifying most of the time.  Here is the translation with my comments in brackets: 

Subject: 3 days left until the end [Pre] discount discount – up to one thousand yen! (intriguing no?)

Paragraph: 

Early Bird discount is asparagus (who knew birds liked asparagus!)
Is up to 59 minutes at 9:00 on April 16! (not an hour, 59 minutes exactly)

Asparagus harvest in Hokkaido was ready to start ^ ^
Suzuki in order to convey the taste to everyone, 
I will eat in one step ahead. (Introducing Suzuki – my new taste tester, every good home should have one)

Umai~tsu “! ! “
The taste was much impressed by a little ^ ^

Raw asparagus crisp and crunchy
Sweet and juicy
The spread in the mouth feel a strong smell of spring. (I have no words, possibly my favorite line)

Rice from sheer exposure of male (Definitely my favorite line, I know I turn to rice when exposed to males)
Place fried asparagus sauteed Vernier Cauda source
I tried to make a ^ ^

▲ asparagus was used here (Definitely the bronze medal for the best line…) 

So as you can see, translators can be very entertaining.  In other news, why I’m getting emails about asparagus is truly beyond me. 

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