Please note these are just key points I need to flesh out the rest of the stories around.  Please forgive the lack of detail. 
Key points:
Surprise were spending 6 hours in a tube of death.

Lunch at expensive tourist trap including shoe leather pork mushrooms run amok in bananas and our 13 millionth plate of seasonal fresh fruit.  Great lime juice and teaching locals the how to say lychees. 

Onwards to the tourist trap school funded by the united nations of gullible tourists.  Locally made beautiful products at international artisan rates. 

Dinner and traditional dancing at the tourist trapped theatre complete with fish dances, the king of monkeys and a number of other such inspired performances.  Great beer company and good times had.  Particularly running after people to return items left behind only to discover they weren’t leaving. 

The tethered Hot air balloon and a beautiful view.