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I’m in Antigua.  It’s gorgeous. Possibly the most peaceful place on the planet.

I’m here for some well-earned R&R and have most definitely found it.  Today is my last full day and as such, I decided to get up a bit early and head down for some breakfast.  French toast and coffee devoured, I decided to finish writing postcards to friends/family from the picturesque dock, feet dangling over the edge.  I had a whole picture in my head, it was going to be perfect!

Now, as a bit of back story, I was wearing normal clothes today as part of the plan was to go for a walk up to Shirley Heights and be a bit more out of the sun today since yesterday’s awesome snorkeling adventure has left me looking a bit lobster-esque.  So no swim suit, just a skirt and top.

After breakfast, I traipsed over to the dock and gingerly set myself down on the edge taking a moment to put my phone in my bag, as I could definitely see it falling through one of the cracks between the wood planks. I set my things down, my postcards, ready for writing on top. Peering into the water, gazing at the fish swimming by, I barely noticed the breeze that came and suddenly swept my postcards into the ocean!

Eyes wide in panic, I looked around me for a stick or something to bring them back to me, unfortunately, as this is the ocean and not a pool, there was no net handy. I frantically weighed my options. I knew if I tried to climb down to reach them with my foot, I would likely fall off the slick beam and into the water, I could jump in after them but I didn’t have a swimsuit on and no towel so I would have to walk back looking like a drowned cat.  I looked around.  No one was close by to help and the longer I debated, the further my cards floated away from me, and now, the school of fish I’d been watching was beginning their own investigation. I had to act!

No choice, I thought, I have to take my clothes off and jump in.  Surely a bra and underwear can pass for a swimsuit for the few minutes I will be in the water. Maybe no one will even see me, I thought.  So up I got, hat off, shirt off, skirt off, quick check to make sure my undies weren’t see through already and I was good to go.  I scampered over to the steps on the other side of the dock, which led into the water.  One foot on the first step and out crawls a crab! A rather large crab, a purple crab, nearing closer to my foot, pinchers waiting.  Quickly I stepped to the next rung but lost my footing on the slick moss that had grown over it and down I went, sliding the remaining three steps all at once and plunging into the water with the grace of an elephant. At least I’d avoided the crab.

This was when I realized I forgot to take off my sunglasses and now here they were, lopsided on my face.  I pushed them up onto my head and assessed what to do next.  Under and through or around the dock?  Under and through was the most direct route but without goggles, I had no idea what I may be swimming into.  Around was likely a safer path but the cards were no doubt still rapidly swimming away from me which would mean more time getting to them and a higher chance of being discovered bobbing around in my unmentionables.  Under and through it is.

I dove down, coming up on the other side and paddled over to my now water logged postcards and threw them back up onto the dock.  Crisis averted and the Rocky theme playing in my head.

I went back under to the steps to climb out, just as the captain of the boat tied to the dock, started towards his vessel.  Great, I thought, no worries, I can totally pull this off.  I’ll just play it cool and maybe he won’t notice that I’m not in a real swim suit.

“Good morning,” I said brightly, smiling and throwing my head back as if I was just enjoying the cool water and the sunshine as I had every other day.  “Morning,” he said.

He got onto his boat and I pulled myself up to the second step, peering over to see if perhaps he was just dropping something off and then would disappear so I could get out with grace or if he was going to be awhile.

When he pulled out a rag and bucket I decided that perhaps luck was not on my side this morning and well, if I waited much longer there would no doubt be more people to avoid.

I bobbed along for a few more seconds and then as casually as possible, I got out of the water and climbed the steps, trying very hard not to think about how transparent those undies probably were by now.

I walked calmly to my clothes, put on my skirt, put on my shirt, popped my hat on my head, gathered my things (including soggy postcards) and walked down the dock feeling rather proud of myself for pulling off this escapade with no one the wiser.  Well, minus maybe the captain.

My sodden clothes are now drying out on the backs of chairs in my room and I am peacefully writing this on my balcony in a new, blissfully dry outfit. If the postcards dry out I’ll mail them complete with the sent of ocean and salty sea air.  You’re welcome. 🙂

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